Thank You

To God Be The Glory! Thank you Teresa, Deborah Ann and Debbie! What a blessing you ladies are to me!
There is a song by a well known longtime gospel singer, Edwin Hawkins, that glorifies the Lord so sweetly. It is on my other blog with my music listings. It is called "To God Be The Glory"! Teresa as you so eloquently remind us that God is to be praised in all things no matter what!

Today is my sister's birthday and I give thanks to the Lord for her life! Happy birthday Sis!!! Teresa we have more in common than you know! I too weep before the Lord at the suffering and anguish of so many in the world today. Especially for the children! Lack, abuse, neglect, confusion, peer pressure, fear, hurt they are subject to so many atrocities! I have always told the Lord that somehow I want to be a blessing to the needy children and women as I can so relate to their sufferings! He led me to a gallery in Fort Myers that is owned by an organization that helps domestic violence women and children, the homeless and victims of human trafficking which is a big problem in the world and even here in S. Florida. Every piece of art sold gives 30% for the funding of the center. Once a year there is a huge auction event and the artists are asked to donate an item to be auctioned off. Perfect for me to be able to bless someone from the fruit of my hands. I pray to be able to  give more and more to this organization as we are blessed to be a blessing.

Stay well my friends and God's best to you all! Much love, Jan

A New Work In Me

This is almost a journaling type of post for me. I am so inconsistent with my posting and doll-making. It is due to my constant struggle with major depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. It wears me out to try and push myself to do things. I will have a period of time where I can produce but so much of the time it is a huge struggle! In spite of routine meds and therapies,  I have to fight my way out of a black hole, or struggle to prevent being dragged into this monster hole. Sometimes the suicidal thoughts plague me and it is if I am warring with a "HULK" sized entity. It really pisses me off because I am being robbed of so much living!  Thank God for Jesus and for my hubby! What would I do without them?

I used to be such a high functioning nurse, wife, mom, nana, daughter, sister, friend and child of God. I also deal with PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder from sexual abuse during my childhood. I was molested by a much older brother at ages 7-9 and by my eye doctor when I was 12. I wonder if people realized the damage they do to the lives of others with their abusive violations would it prevent so of it from happening? It is so destructive to the victims quality of life. One day I will elaborate on the effects of PTSD as a sexual abuse victim.

Many times it is difficult to even do my activities of daily living. Most days I spend in my pj's and usually need to push myself to wash up and dress. I watch a lot of TV because it takes very little effort to curl up in my favorite recliner with my "blanky". I t is difficult to be around a lot of people especially kids because they are so noisy!

Even my time with my grand-kids is severely limited because of my poor tolerance for noisy activity. The visits to my mom at the nursing home is my biggest sacrifice of effort. She's almost 92 with dementia and medical issues so we don't know how long she has with us. Visiting with her sometime gets on my 'nerves'. My hubby is so incredibly supportive and encouraging me to spend time with my mom. Sometimes he goes to see her without me and takes her special treats.

I feel that God is working somethings out in me and and it will be beneficial to document as I can. Maybe someone else will be blessed to know that they are not alone in these type of struggles. I pray a lot and read the bible. It helps! I watch Christian TV which is also beneficial. I very occasionally am able to attend a church service. Sometime I have to take an extra Ativan or 2 in order to travel to places especially where there will be a lot of people. It also makes me somewhat drowsy.  I shudder to think how I could try and cope without God and His word.

I try to focus on praying for others and being supportive via the internet. I believe that one day I will walk out into the other side of this bizarre place. Like Jesse Jackson says I must  "keep hope alive". Sometimes humor helps too! And yes, even born again Christians have these type of challenges! Love you!

Happy 4th Of July!

Happy Independence Day!

Let's remember to give God thanks for this country, our troops and their families for their tremendous sacrifices and our veterans!

God Bless America!

Glory And Praise To Our Triune God!!

I have been missing in action from this blog for too long. God is doing some amazing things in my
life lately for which I am humbly grateful. At the same time I have been challenged greatly in several areas
but as apostle Paul encourages us I "count it all joy". I am being stretched and pulled on the Master Potter's
wheel and am being purified through a "refiner's fire" and one day I will come out as "pure gold". As the Holy
Trinity surrounds me and fills me I am experiencing a great intimacy in my relationships with them.I pray for
you all and the whole world as we are instructed to do.  As I go from faith to faith and glory to glory I pray that

something I say or do draws others to the love of Christ. Stay prayerful and blessed!

There Are Mothers

From  the inernet cafe...here

In a perfect world Mother’s Day would be perfect and life would be uninterrupted and simple. But life as we know it is not always that way.

There are mothers whose children are incarcerated…We pray for them.

There are mothers who are incarcerated…We pray for them.

There are mothers who patiently wait for the return of their children from foreign lands as they protect our freedoms…We pray for them.

There are mothers who see their children return from war very different people…
We pray for them.

There are mothers who watch their adult children make choices that break their hearts…
We pray for them.

There are mothers who are victims of abuse…We pray for them.

There are mothers who have sent their children home to heaven…
We pray for them.

There are mothers whose tragic choices have separated them from their children…
We pray for them.

There are mothers who step in to become something every child deserves;
foster mothers…We pray for them.

There are mothers who did not bear the child that has stolen their hearts, adoptive mothers,
We pray for them.

There are mothers who sadly live on the streets…We pray for them.

There are mothers who have given their children up in hopes of a better life, longing to know they are safe…
We pray for them.

For Mothers…in all circumstances.

In a perfect world, it would be just that…perfect.

But life as we know is not perfect, that is for the eternal.

So this Mother’s Day, amidst all of the “sentimental verses” the women at the Cafe pray for the real mothers.
Living very real circumstances.
Very real lives.

Coming Up For A Breath Of Air!!!

Greetings, everyone and blessings from our gracious and merciful Father! Many are the afflictions of the righteous but God delivers us from them all! I am coming out from  under a cloud of testing and tribulation, but thank the Father that He has not left me without help but with the Comforter/Holy Spirit!! My granddaughter was hospitalized for 2 weeks and several days after her release her mom was hospitalized for 7-8 days!

But look at God! I have went from being right at the edge of homelessness to the owner of a new home never lived in and with brand new appliances! All within the last 7-8 months!!!  A bit later I will elaborate on what a loving God and doer of miracles has been up to while the enemy has been a pain in my royal_ _ _!!!!!

For all those who are in need of or are desiring to own a home go to NSP.com in your county. There are federal monies available that will assist you with 20-50% of the cost of the house of your choice that you meet criteria for from their list of available homes. Study the criteria and in and outs of the program and you could be a homeowner in an average of 4-6 months. It is all 100%  legit and under governmental supervision. I gotta go but stay real and in God's presence!! Love, Jan

Calling All Prayer Warriors!

My 12 year old granddaughter A'keyla has been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks with pancreas and liver related issues. Pray for her healing and for the wisdom of the medical team in working with her. Pray for her peace of mind because she doesn't need to worry about missing school or any other thing. I've taught her to pray and she became a born again Christian at about 8 years of age.

Also keep her 8 year old brother Jonathan in prayer because due to a flawed court system his dad has had physical custody of him  for almost 4 years in Miami and he desperately wants to live with his mom and sister in Naples. I've also taught him to pray and he says he prays every day.

Pray for Nikki, the kids mom who has her plate full with all this and missing work. The plan is for me to go and relieve her at the St. Pete hospital and stay in the hospital room .

 Lastly pray for yours truly to walk in the peace of God through all of the above and more! Not to forget that  God's got it!! Blessings! Jan