Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Other Therapist

My only sister is Dee who lives in Rockford, IL. She is 2 years younger than I  and when I get almost rock bottom I call her. I believe she is the only person in the world that can get a real laugh out of me when I am lower than a snakes' belly. It must be because she is my spiritual sister as well as my biological sister. My parents had 4 boys and 2 girls so that causes us to be closer than usual. I know she prays frequently for me  and knows me probably better than anyone, even my lovely husband Reggie. I thank God for these 2 persons in my life because they recognize that my diagnoses does not make me "crazy". Others in my family have been known to use that term for me and not in a lovingly jokingly way. 

People don't get it. I didn't get it even though I worked as a mental health nurse for a lot of my nursing career. It wasn't until I sat on the other side of the desk as a patient and not a health professional that I "got it". I use to hop in my car and drive 700 plus miles by myself in a heartbeat. Now it's been almost 3 years since I have driven on an expressway. I can barely drive up the street without having anxiety bordering on panic attacks. The longer I can't drive the harder it is for me to try. My husband doesn't allow me to go anywhere by myself. God my head is hurting. I feel nauseous. I don't know what to do with myself today. I tried to lay down and couldn't. I tried to watch TV and couldn't. I couldn't read or work on any crafts or anything today. Thank God for spell-check, otherwise this post  would be full of errors.

I will continue to believe for healing until I die. I have to have hope. Thank God for my doctors, therapists and meds. Later, Jan

I wonder if I feel "blue" because it's 9/11? I doubt it.

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